The one thing he can't touch
by YukikoMon
Summary: Friendships and courtships go hand in hand but sadly, not for him. A one-shot for now.


**The one thing he can't touch.**

* * *

Matsubara Kaoru always had a way of hurting him.

Be it physically or emotionally. Not in a romantic sense though, no. It was more of damaging Natsuki's pride.

It was back in middle school. You know, where guys just minded their own business. He'd admit that he was quite popular. Maybe if it wasn't for that… he wouldn't have met that squealing girl, Momoko. He wouldn't have met Kaoru in a rude way. To be honest, he still thinks he was right. Squealing should not be allowed at hallways. No regrets were placed on that.

Then there was that sports festival. The very thing that sparked their so called rivalry.

It was then that he'd taken interest to a girl. Not that he was interested in guys. It was a different interest mind you. She was just intriguing, no more no less. Plus, he adored Blossom. Well, she was a super hero. And Kaoru… she was merely a girl.

A girl who had outmatched him countless times. He'd remember her standing before him. A triumphant smirk placed on her petite face.

A girl who had almost outnumbered his fans. Not that he was counting. But heck, they were many and, not to mention, vexing.

It was one of those moments where they'd agree. Kaoru would make a scrunched up face. They'd share the creepiest thing a fan had done to them. With that kind of argument, both were reluctant to win.

He didn't want to admit but having her around was refreshing. Now, he didn't know why but he seeks for her company. And he wondered, most of the time, what had gotten her so busy.

There were times she wouldn't show up in their practice. He'd look for her in places she used to go. She'd gone distant before he realized.

Whenever his glance falls on her, he'd instigate a greeting. He couldn't let that moment pass on. They'd talk for a bit, her bidding a hurried goodbye and him standing unsatisfied.

He told himself to not think about it. Don't linger on it too much. Set it aside, not even knowing what 'it' was. But he tells himself anyway. That was much effective whenever she wasn't around, easier too when he was surrounded by pretty flowers.

And then she shows up. Those things that popped earlier looking less of a flower and more of a barricade of weed, and her- well, he'd thought of her as different. He couldn't quite put it.

She was talking to someone. Then she shifts her gaze, focusing on him. Well, it looked like that was the case. He didn't know what had happened but he felt the impact on him. She smiled, more like snickered but smiled nonetheless, and it was at him. The pounding of his heart was deafening.

"I never thought you'd be awkward in terms of women." She's at his side, teasing him.

"How come I don't see you more often?" He accidentally blurted out, placing his sweaty palms inside his pockets.

"We see each other everyday." She raised an eyebrow, but then laughed. "Dude, we're in the same school?"

Before he could even retort, the two gals called her. She immediately complies and waved at him. "See ya, Natsuki!"

And just like that, she was gone again.

* * *

It was not long till he had a girlfriend. It wasn't even hard; he didn't have to work for it. He didn't even like her that much. But she was the only one who had courage to actually ask him out. Did it make him less of a man?

A lot were miserable, that was evident. But Kaoru, she was indifferent. By the looks of it, she was more distant than ever. He didn't like it one bit but for what it's worth, it distracted him from that feeling.

The distraction didn't last long though. But being popular as he is, there awaited a long list of women who'd gladly take the position. He felt emptier and the feeling was getting stronger.

He busied himself with them. Maybe then, it'll go away. Whatever it was, he was scared of it. And that was hard for him to admit.

It was also hard to admit that he knew exactly what he was feeling.

On the side note, he hated losing. And it seemed like Kaoru was winning over him. That wasn't fair; Kaoru was never fair for him. How could she ever win without even doing anything?

Walking along the hallway, he sees her. She was standing by her locker quite annoyed but he wouldn't miss that way she bit her lower lip in an attempt to keep herself from laughing. A light blush crept on her face.

That was when he'd lock eye contact with a green-eyed guy, an existence he didn't want to see. He always blocked him out, regrettably. That was a mistake. He didn't know when or how had he gotten close to her quick.

But the feeling rose quickly, it bothered him to no end.

A tug in his arm broke their stare and brought him back to his senses. Someone was clinging beside him. It's his new girlfriend. Had he blocked her out too?

It didn't took Kaoru long to see who the green-eyed devil was eyeing. She turns to see him, instantly greeting him with a wide grin. But that was it, she was, again, engrossed to that devil.

 _How could she stay so happy?_

His throat dried up, Kaoru's voice ringing through his ear.

 _Look at me._

He wanted to say but every time he had a chance, that guy was there, looming.

Then there it was again, something he never got from her in the first place. Her face lit up from their conversation. She had a light laugh, face flushed. She never looked prettier and it wasn't for him.

It's like he wasn't even there in the first place.

Somehow it reached beyond his chest. Like a stab without a knife. But it pierced through him, clean. His chest constricted as if doused in gasoline.

Again, Matsubara Kaoru always had a way of hurting him.

But this time, before it could reach up to his face, he made his way.

One thing was clear though, he never stood a chance.

He don't dare look back.

* * *

 **A/N:** Might make it a two-shot, if I got the time. Second part would follow Butch's pov. For the meantime tagged as complete.

Oh and if you don't know who Natsuki is, he's that boy in the manga. It's short, you couldn't miss it.


End file.
